


Sunrises and Soft Hair

by Livelovelupin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Languid mornings, M/M, and birthdays, first wizarding war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:15:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22339132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Livelovelupin/pseuds/Livelovelupin
Summary: Wars are scary
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 26





	Sunrises and Soft Hair

“Why are you up, love?”

Sirius isn’t surprised or startled when he hears Remus. He’s glad if anything. The morning air is cool around him, and the sun is more or less right on the horizon, with the sky a shade of bluish lilac that Sirius thinks is his favorite color. His favorite color after the color of hazel eyes, that is.

Remus sits next to Sirius at the window sill, and Sirius engulfs both of them in the blanket that was previously just on him. Sirius smiles.

“I love mornings,” Sirius says. “Should I close the window? Are you cold?”

“No. It’s nice,” Remus says, resting his head on Sirius’ chest. He’s on Sirius’ lap, and Sirius wraps his hands around Remus’ waist. Sirius sighs, burying his nose in Remus’ hair.

“That was a big sigh,” Remus says, and it’s obvious that he has just woken up. His voice is rough and low, whisper-like. Sirius loves Remus’ morning voice. He revels in it.

“It’s nothing, Re,” Sirius says. Remus hums but doesn’t comment.

Mornings like these were Sirius’ favorite. They were different at Hogwarts, though. Mornings were the start of days filled with mischief and fun and brilliance. Now, mornings are the only time of day when Sirius feels like he could breathe. And the thing is, now Sirius is scared. At any given moment at any given time, Sirius is absolutely terrified. He’s scared about the next order meeting and order mission, and how his own brother is a part of that, the other side.

He wakes up and he checks on Remus and James and Lily because he’s so damn scared. So Sirius sighs, and he loses himself, temporarily, in leaden mornings because who knows how many stupid lazy mornings he has left? Because he is very much part of this crazy, ruthless war. Everyone he’s ever loved is part of this war. Lily is pregnant (!!), and Sirius tries not to think about that, at all, because what kind of world would that baby be born into, really?

“You do know what today is, don’t you?” Remus asks.

Sirius doesn’t say anything.

“Happy birthday, love…” Remus says, and he turns his head around slightly to place a kiss on Sirius’ cheek. Sirius smiles, despite himself. So, what?

“Thank you, Re.”

“James is throwing you a surprise party,” Remus says, “You do know that, right?”

Sirius groans. “Of course I know. Prongs can’t be discreet even if his life depended on it.”

Remus chuckles and shakes his head. “Just act surprised, he thought it through.”

Of course he did, Sirius thinks, warmth spreading through his chest.

“What’s on your mind, sweetness?”

Sirius shakes his head. “Nothing,” he says, his voice muffled by Remus’ hair.

Remus stays quiet, giving Sirius the room to come to him, on his own. He always does that, and it always works, much to Sirius’ dismay.

Sirius sighs. “It’s stupid,” he mutters.

“Is that supposed to mean anything? Stupidity never really stopped you before, Pads.”

“Hey!” Sirius exclaims, “It’s my birthday, be nice.”

Remus laughs, “Of course, love. My bad.”

Sirius feels content. The sun has just risen in the sky, and it is still cold in their flat. Sirius wants to say so much, and he feels like he will overflow if he doesn’t.

“We’re at war, Re. People are dying and fighting and trying to beat this lunatic and his even more lunatic followers— a birthday party feels like the last thing we should be doing.”

“I think it’s a brilliant idea. We all need this. The entire order will be there.”

Sirius scoffs. “We have things to do, though, don’t we?”

“Things will get done, you know. Eventually. This war isn’t going to keep on dragging forever, Sirius.”

“Kind of feels like it…”

“Well, it won’t. And we will win this, Sirius. We’ll have it no then way, yes?”

Sirius lets out a breath. “Yes.”

Remus removes Sirius’s hands from around his waist and gets up. He smiles and tells Sirius to wait. Sirius raises an eyebrow as Remus backs up quite dramatically from their bedroom, a finger on his lips indicating that Sirius should stay quiet. Sirius rolls his eyes.

“And you say I’m the dramatic one, Re.”

“Shut up!” Remus says, from outside their bedroom. “And just you wait— you’re gonna love this!”

Sirius chuckles and gets up from next to the window to sit on their bed. It’s very bittersweet, the entire thing, how Sirius feels.

The thing is, Sirius is nineteen, now, and he really shouldn’t be taking part in spying missions and a stupid war. Sirius never thought he’d wish for it, but he would give a lot of things up to live a calm life, where he’s not so afraid. He thinks that might be selfish, but is it, really?

Sirius wants to run away with Remus, James, and Lily, and he wants to never look back. But he knows that he could never. He’d be leaving so many things behind, and he wouldn’t be able to sleep at night knowing that he could be helping but isn’t.

It is all very fucked up.

Sirius must’ve been too lost in his head because he only notices Remus standing in front of him, hands behind his back, after he clears his throat.

It’s a lovely sight. Remus looks excited, too excited, like his body can’t contain it. He is still in his bed clothes, and his hair is all over the place.

Remus removes his hands from behind his back, and he is holding what Sirius thinks is the smallest kitten he has ever seen. It’s curled around itself in Remus’ palm, and it seems to be sleeping. It looks like a ball of black yarn, and Sirius’ heart melts.

Sirius lets out a squeal before he realizes that he does, and he stands up. “Remus!”

Remus is quite literally glowing, “I know! Here, you can hold it.”

“It’s so tiny, Remus,” Sirius says, as he takes the cat from Remus and places it carefully against his chest. “It’s so warm and— Remus!”

Remus laughs, “It’s a she. She’s been living at Mrs. Hopkins upstairs and she was going to put it in a shelter but then—“

“Thank you!” Sirius says, and his voice is high-pitched and almost squeaky but he doesn’t mind. Sirius has always wanted a pet, and this— “Thank you so much, Re.”

“Her name is— Well, I couldn’t decide.”

“Well, that’s not too nice. We need to get her a name.”

“Maybe James could help?”

“I love Jamie,” Sirius says, as he places the kitten carefully on their bed and sits next to it, “ but I am not letting him name this poor thing.”

Remis laughs as he also sits down, “Be nice to James today, he—“

“Yeah, yeah. A party, I know.” Sirius grins. “I love you, Re.”

“I love you, too, love.”

“Inky.”

“Huh?”

“We could name her inky, as in ink, you know? Black fur, black in—“

“If that’s the best you can come up with, I think we need James’ help.”

“Hey! No, wait, should we name her Harriet? Then she and Harry would be—“

“Lily would murder you.”

Sirius bites his lip, “She would not hesitate. How about… how about Luna? You know, the moon is grey, and it works for me because astronomy and you because the moon and then you’ll be moony and she’ll be the moon, and—“

Remus puts his hand over Sirius’ mouth, to make him stop. He is smiling, though.

“Luna it is.”

“Yay!” Sirius says, removing Remus’ hands from his mouth, “And we—“ Sirius stops talking when he feels the cat-Luna, pawing at his hand. Luna has bright green eyes, and Sirius makes a small squeaky noise because what else is he supposed to do?

“She so cute!” Sirius exclaims, picking Luna up.

Remus shakes his head, smiling fondly. “She likes you already! Happy birthday, Sirius, love...”

_**~fin~** _


End file.
